Alaska Tourists – Surefire Ways To Always Spot Them
By: Courtney Dowd-Stanley
Alaska tourists – we know them, we need them, and we love them. Not only are they tremendously vital to our economy, but we commend their great taste in vacation destinations. Anyone who wants to experience the magnificent treasure that is “The Last Frontier,” is someone we’ll gladly welcome with arms wide open.
But it’d be a lie to say that we didn’t get a little giggle over the painfully obvious existence of Alaska tourists. We get it; this place is intense! Even residents get caught playing “tourist” from time to time … how could we not? It’s easy to become dumbfounded by your mere surroundings up here. But just so you know (tourist), you stick out like a sore thumb.
1 – Cruise ships by the masses means that your peaceful port is about to become the Alaska version of Disneyland in July.
2 – Smile… you’re on candid camera! Watching watchers watch.
3 – Cruise ships, glaciers, and more Polaroid pictures in one single setting than you can even comprehend.
4 – After the sea excursion comes the land excursion, so be prepared for an insane train depot situation as well.
5 – Like a bunch of sardines squished together on every sidewalk in sight.
6 – Tourists love a good dose of urban gold panning. You know, to transport them to the past.
7 – Pictures with inanimate objects.
8 – Pictures with town signs.
9 – Pictures with murals.
10 – Pictures with just about anything that’ll let you near it.
11 – Except wild animals, of course. (But that won’t stop them from trying…)
12 – Plus, plenty of pictures with obligatory touristy peace signs thrown up.
13 – Moose rides (by grown adults).
14 – Bear beanies (on grown adults).
15 – Parkas in the middle of July.
16 – Matching jackets and a touristy group meeting in the middle of the road. Totally normal.
17 – When you want to learn about the local area, but the mosquitoes in Alaska aren’t like they are in the lower 48.
18 – Posing with antlers because you feel extra rugged and burly being in Alaska. Grrr!
19 – The ‘Denali lean’ when everyone races to one side of the bus to spot the elusive wildlife out the window.
20 – The touristy dad that knows how to dress the part.
21 – Dog mushing on gravel with six grown adults in tow.
22 – Motorhomes…
23 – …And motor-coaches, oh my! They have officially arrived.
Looking for another great read? Check out this story on Dick Proenneke – Hiking With A Legend. You might also enjoy this story on Portage, the sunken Alaska ghost town that nature is reclaiming.