12 Incredible Alaska Tourist Quotes!
Ahh….the Alaska tourist quote.  Being born and raised here means I’ve heard my fair share of these.  Couple that with the fact that I worked for the National Park Service in the visitor center of Denali National Park in the summers, I’ve heard several that almost make you cock your head to the side like an inquisitive canine that is seeing something new for the first time.  The presence of a spiral bound notebook of hand-written Alaska tourist quotes from the National Park staff can neither be confirmed nor denied 🙂
We recently put a post up on our Facebook page asking for the best from our fans who have heard these with their own ears. Â We do this from time to time, and it always rewards me with some good reading at the end of the day. Â Scrolling through these can make a person chuckle, sigh, furrow their brow, or wonder about how some of these folks might go about their daily lives!
These posts certainly aren’t made to poke fun and laugh AT people, but to laugh WITH people.  I’ve come to the conclusion that the purveyors of the infamous Alaska tourist quotes are oftentimes in such awe of Alaska (and for good reason) that sometimes they might just say whatever comes to mind at the moment, without taking the time to think about what they’re saying.  We have all been guilty of this in some form or fashion, so while these are funny, we could also have a bit of patience with the tourists who visit Alaska and want a taste of what we get to enjoy on a daily basis. ENJOY!
1.
While deer on the roadways are certainly an issue, I’m not sure a 150 pound deer is as much of a hazard as a 1,000 pound bull moose!
2.
Typically in Alaska, our rivers flow downhill. Â I can’t speak to other areas, but that’s how it works here….
3.
No take-backs! Â We bought this land fair and square for 2 cents an acre! #bestdealever
4.
While we do have bridges here, its a little known fact that Alaska is ACTUALLY connected to Canada….who knew?!
5.
Shoveling it up and storing it in the ‘snow warehouses’ is definitely a burden on the community. Â There has to be a better way!
6.
Only when we want to. Â We can be stingy with the ‘Aurora Switch’, and you have to be nice to us!
7.Â
At the same elevation where bears turn into squirrels, sheep into goats, caribou into marmots, etc. Â I thought this was common knowledge? Â Yes, this has been asked multiple times….eesh!
8.
Alaska DOES have more coastline than the rest of the US (by a WIDE margin), so maybe since we touch more saltwater this was asked? Â Fortunately for us, it still rains freshwater…and the plants are thankful for that.
9.Â
Fresh snow might stay on the roads for longer than some people might like, but our guys don’t get THAT far behind!
10.
Another little-known fact about Alaska….we grow big rocks…like really, really big rocks!
11.
Believe it or not, the oil isn’t actually in a metal barrel…while its in the pipe 🙂
12.
Moose…still herbivores in Alaska!
Enjoy this? Â Let us know! Â We can certainly do more of these!
Good stuff! I have always loved the tourists enthusiasm for Alaska that sparks their interest and literally sometimes blows their minds…
Drove tour bus for two years. Heard a lot of dumb questions but my favorite was when were standing next to Turnagain Arm and a lady who had hustled back to the bus and was breathing heavy asked what elevation we were at. I looked at the water just below us, looked back at her and said “About 20 feet. Maybe 25.”
I love this one…it seems everyone has heard this in one form or another! 🙂
We used to get this all the time on the boats in Seward. We’d usually look over the side and say about 4 feet….. most would catch on that it was a dumb question at laugh at them selves.
sad but true……I have heard adult Alaskans born and raised here ask those same elevation questions.
Awesome! Provided some very entertaining reading! I think the amazing beauty of our state probably just rattles some folks’ brains a bit, I just can’t believe they’re quite like that on a day-to-day basis….are they? 🙂
I think you’re right. Alaska is so awe inspiring that it generates some less than fully thought out comments! 🙂
Trust me. They ARE like that on a day-to-day basis…
I left Wassila in 2007 and moved to Houston Tx, I cannot count how many times people question increadulously ” you mean you can drive to Alaska?”
Really?! 🙂
When I was moving up here from Texas, we stopped at a store in Louisiana, (the long way via TN to visit family). The girl behind the counter asked where we were going and we told her Alaska. She said, “Wow! That’s a whole nother continent!”. Ummmmmm no, not really. 🙂
We moved from Fairbanks Alaska to Texas and it feels like a different world…from Heaven to Hell but people always say “Oh my God, you actually drove all that way.”
Standing on the pier in Juneau “What elevation is this?
I remember being down on the dock in Juneau meeting one of the Alaska Steam ships coming in with my Grandfather, that question was asked by a woman of my Grandfather and he said about 1500 ft. and the woman bought it. The dock was at most 15 ft. above the water. This was back in the early 50’s don’t think it has changed much since then.
Best one I have heard was while halibut fishing. Customer looked at me and asked, “How far above sea level are we?” I looked at him and said about 2 ft while you are sitting in that chair.
A pilot was taking a couple tourist sight seeing around the Fairbanks area and the tourist remarked that he was surprised at how many people here had swimming pools in their yards. It was blue tarps. lol
HAHA! That’s a new one for me. That’s fantastic! –Kyle
I have pictures of some friends at a swimming pol in Fairbanks in 1956. I believe it was close to 90 the 3-4- days we were there.
as most of you know,Denali spends a bunch of summer with cloud cover,I have been asked many time “when does the mountain come out?”…..Look at the clock on the wall and say in about an hour..
As a bartender in southeast, I have been asked by tourists if I live here in the winter time.
My sister owns a small store in Sitka, and she said people come in off the cruise ships and ask, “do you take American money here”?
As Postmaster if Seward, I heard this one all the time.
As a kid I moved from Alaska to Nebraska and was asked if I was a foreign exchange student or there “forever”. Must not have been forced because I’ve since moved back.
Hilarious. Thank you
I took a call as police dispatch a few years ago. The tourist wanted to report “There are bears out by the river. Just running around loose!” Yes, Ma’am, that is where they live…
Years of driving tour buses in Alaska I have heard many long forgotten…but this one stands out – “Do you really hit moose on the road?”
Or having watched me load luggage before departure this one was always great – “Driver, will our bags get to the hotel at the same time we do?”
People (tourists) can’t be THAT stupid, can they????????? Awful and I was a tourist. I just love Alaska and have read about AK. since I was a kid!!
A few years ago met a girl on a bike on the tidal flats about 5 miles south of Juneau. As she was leaving she commented about there being more uphill than downhill on her way back to Juneau cruise ship terminal. She was allowed to have her bike on the boat as she worked as a naturalist on the tour ship….
At my “going away” party, in ’93, it was known i was moving to Bethel, AK for a job opportunity. After an evening of stories about pipes above ground, houses on stilts & almost all “honey buckets” being replaced, one of my more “intelligent” g/f’s asked if i had to renew my passport!
Best ever. I was asked by a woman for an Alaska astronomy book because she wanted to know if we only have full moons in Alaska… I wanted to say yes, and that the state is populated by werewolves.
I was taking a friend out to eat halibut for dinner. He asks “Are they are going to put the whole fish on the plate?”
Best quote I have is a tourist asking if we take American Money. I auto responded ” nope furs and beads only”. The look on his face was priceless.
Overheard a tourist on a cruise ship complaining that the glacier was dirty, and why wasn’t it cleaned before the ship arrived.
We moved to Anchorage in 1980 from New Orleans, La. When I attempted to change my address with the Insurance Company out of New York, I was told that my coverage didn’t extend to a FORIEGN COUNTRY !!! LOL
Also, my Mom waned to know if we had INDOOR plumbing & if we had to use BOTTLED GAS? LOL
So hated to havee to moe back to the Lower 48. Still miss Alaska
But seriously, I’m sure there is a way to Calculate the Weight of the Denali formation. I for one one would be interested in knowing.
My husband works with a guy that travels south a lot. One time down in the lower 48, a cashier found out he was from Alaska, and asked it she could see some Alaska money. He put his hand in his pocket, pulled it out, and said, “Dang, it melted!”
Born and raised in Ketchikan- the “First City” (as in the first stop on Alaska cruises). I got the strangest questions… Standing on the cruise ship dock- “How far above sea level are we?”. Working the cash register in a tourist shop- “Do you take American money here?”. Giving a tour in a resort van- “When are the whales performing?”.
The BEST ONE: At the grocery store I overheard a lady and her family ask a cashier “What would be good bait to get a close up picture of a bear?” Straight faced I leaned in and said “Your children”. I laughed all the way back to my car!
This makes me so sad. Wow!