Alaska – Proud To Be America’s Black Sheep
By: Courtney Dowd-Stanley
Alaska might be known as America’s black sheep, but that doesn’t keep us locals from loving all the wild and crazy elements that come along with living in the Last Frontier. From the outside looking in, we understand that many people might think that we’re nuts for putting up with Alaska’s undeniable extremities. But the honest truth is that we wouldn’t live anywhere else in the world, if given the opportunity to uproot. While it’s not always easy to manage the challenges that come along with living The Alaska Life, it’s certainly always worth it.
1 – Yes, Alaska is located in the United States. No, we’re not a part of Canada.
2 – While maps are good and all, we prefer this hand signal…
3 – We tell distance in time, not miles. (Because you just never know what you’ll run into.)
4 – We are the largest state in the nation, with only one area code.
5 – Ice fog, white out conditions, and driving on roads with no visible lanes… totally normal!
6 – We aren’t above naming a furry feline as the town mayor.
7 – In some areas of Alaska, the population of bears far outnumber the population of human life.
8 – Not only do we yield to pedestrians, but wildlife also have the right-of-way.
9 – Oh, and so do sled dog teams.
10 – Plus, no one will look at you funny for owning this many dogs…
11 – Or for outfitting your fur babies with their own closet full of clothes (with more pairs of shoes than you own yourself).
12 – While we don’t hug trees, we do designate them for wildlife. (As if we needed a sign to stop wildlife from taking over.)
13 – In Alaska, it’s not uncommon to spot a reindeer being walked on a leash through the city streets.
14 – Or going for an afternoon ride in the truck…
15 – Or even running with a bunch of wild and crazy Alaskans dressed up in silly outfits.
16 – But at the end of the day, we’ll still gobble up a scrumptious reindeer dog without blinking an eye.
17 – Outhouse humor is our way of dealing with the lack of modern amenities.
18 – We have no concept of time in the summer, thanks to the glorious Midnight Sun.
19 – While you might have places to go and people to meet, the moose don’t really care about holding you up.
20 – While outsiders prefer the city lights, we’ll gladly take the northern lights any day.
21 – Permafrost problems…
22 – Earthquake problems…
23 – What you think the Alaska state bird is:
24 – Versus the reality:
25 – Oddly enough, catching crabs is our real life version of winning the JACKPOT! The odds are better too!
26 – We have this kind of epic adventure awaiting us, right inside the city.
27 – Beware: a long walk on the beach could quickly turn into a life or death situation.
28 – Springtime does crazy things to Alaska’s resident green thumbs.
29 – If you don’t have a good sense of humor, there is a good chance that you’ll be easily offended in Alaska.
30 – Even our garbage cans have to be specially made to prevent the bears from coming too close for comfort.
31 – When the temps drop, you have two options; either you plug your vehicle in, or the engine seizes up. Your call!
32 – Xtratufs, aka the official uniform of breakup season.
33 – But also, the unofficial “something old” to outfit any Alaskan themed wedding.
34 – Heck, even dogs get caught wearing Xtratuf’s in Alaska.
35 – House shopping in Alaska looks a lot like visiting the local taxidermist.
36 – If you call us any time during the month of July, let’s just say that we’ll be “on the other line.”
37 – First day of moose season got us like…
38 – Alaska rural neighborhoods in the winter:
39 – Alaska rural neighborhoods in the summer:
40 – Your version of a nice rack probably differs slightly from ours…
41 – Alaska kids are so tough, they (literally) still enjoy outdoor recess until the temps drop to -10 degrees below zero.
42 – Tough Alaska kids are also quite fearless and unafraid to get their hands dirty in the name of good fun.
43 – Our remote villages are referred to as “the bush.”
44 – You’ll likely know someone that owns an otter, and no, not the marine animal.
45 – Bunny boots; learn to love them or learn to live without your toes (after they get frostbite).
46 – Braaap! The term is snow-machine, NOT snow-mobile. Kapeesh?
47 – Unfortunately, heading to the slope in Alaska has nothing to do with shredding the pow.
48 – No, they aren’t Dr. Seuss trees. Their growth is stunted because Alaska has permafrost, and lots of it.
49 – Two words: polar plunge. Yes, we do it. Yes, it’s for a good cause. And yes, we know you think we’re crazy.
50 – Weekend warrior status in Alaska is on a whole new level.
51 – If our responsibility to hunt and feed our family (the most organic meat possible) offends you, you probably shouldn’t reside in the rugged Last Frontier.
52 – Or maybe, ask yourself what you’d do if you had to pay prices like this?
53 – That soft, squishy tundra is perfect for taking an afternoon nature nap.
54 – No matter how much snow is on the ground, we’ll soak up every ounce of Vitamin D available.
55 – Even in a town that stays dark for 65 days a year, we’d still choose Alaska over anywhere else in the world. If that makes us an outcast, then we’ll take it!
Looking for more where that came from? Check out these 13 times Alaska bears thought they were humans and got caught on candid camera. You’ll also enjoy these 23 hilariously accurate ways to always spot a tourist in Alaska this summer. Don’t miss these 15 indisputable fears that everyone living the Alaska life has had.